choices

i think it's true that all of life is simply a path of uncertainty. we all choose whether to walk, run or sit on that path. we all choose whether to rely on the guidance of a map, or a higher power. some choose to rely on instinct, gut or other signs they come upon on their path. some get comfortable with the straightness and flatness of their path and decide to stay on it forever. but regardless of the choices we make, and the deviations we construct, it is still a path of uncertainty, with each step we take being just as out of our control as the last. no matter how much we fight or pray or possess the decisions we make, ultimately our fate is not our own.

sometimes this truth is of comfort to me. sometimes it is of frustration to me. sometimes it leaves me asking why, without any good answers. and while i know it is not my right to understand, sometimes i wish more than anything that the pain in my heart was instead in my hands so i could control it, understand it and destroy it.

so that i wouldn't sit alone on these nights filled with doubt, anger, resentment and pain. all unavoidable emotions caused by a path that i never chose.