I'm still, by n.smith

a quick disclaimer (ERIC), before you read this poem. i am not depressed. i do not hate my life. i do not feel i need to have someone to be happy. just a little healthy reflection as i ring in the new year. if you need further affirmation of the state of my well being, read the two poems before this one: "You've got a way" and "the Best of me." hopefully they will support the previous paragraph. thank you.

I sit alone and ponder
What will it be like when we meet
Will I know right away
That we are meant to be

How long will we have to wait
Or do you even exist
Am I meant to be alone forever
Will these lips never again be kissed

Each day that goes by
Leaves my questions unanswered
With each engagement, each wedding
Time seems to tick faster

Every holiday a reminder
Of the love I don’t possess
Thousands of eyes stare with pity
As I try to hide my distress

I’m trying to prepare my heart
To be ready for your love if it appears
But the pain of your absence
At times can be difficult to bear

I turn off the light,
Still using just half the bed
Making dinner for one
An entire night with no words said

Pack up the car with presents
Only one seat occupied
A birth, a death, a bad day at work
No one by my side

I’m still young, they say
I’m still young, I know
But what if 20 years from now
I’m still writing this same old poem