someone like me

i'm not like those around me. i'm set apart. i know this. i've known it for years. since the day i committed my life to Jesus Christ, i've known i just can't fit into this world. i like that about being a Christian. i like knowing that i don't have to try to be someone i'm not to truly be accepted. for believers like me, there's only one true critic and that's God. there's only one set of eyes on me at all times. there's only one opinion that matters. there's only one judgment that is righteous. i can come before my Lord as a boring, short, wannabe athlete with split ends to the world...and walk away feeling like a piece of artwork adorn in a gold-plated frame; a distinguished beauty turning heads as i walk down the street; an interesting, exciting and intriguing woman of God.



i know that is how my Savior sees me. i believe it with all my heart.



so why, then, do i still attempt to please this world? as individualistic as i proudly claim to be, why is it that in moments of temptation i still follow the crowd. i don't get it. i really just don't get myself. i frustrate myself. and disappoint myself on an almost daily basis for the things i choose to stand for and the things that i do not. for the opinions that mean something to me and shouldn't. for the heart i long for, yet can't have...and shouldn't have for that matter.



how does "someone like me," get so wrapped up in a place like this. especially when i know of a place so much greater.